Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Day 7. Crying yourself to sleep

Whether you believe in it now or not it once worked for you, or should I say your parents.  As young infants or children many parents enforce the, let them cry themselves to sleep method, and look at us we all turned out somewhat fine lol. 

As I have gotten older I have had those moments when I just feel like crying.  I have no reason why, I just do.  This still befuddles my husband, when I am in one of these moods he can just look at me wrong and I absolutely lose it. 

So to sum this up, I have found that most often I get into these moods when I am extremely tiredor PMS-ing and it does help me.  I turn on a sad song, watch a sad YouTube video, or watch a sad movie and I just let myself cry.  I cry until my tear ducts are dry and typically at that point I am so overly exhausted that I crash or pass out wherever I am, and the get the BEST sleep. 

So what do you think? Do you agree? Have you ever done this?

Day 6. Most embarassing moment

Well.....ummmm.... I am not sure what my most embarassing moment would be.  I have a few moments that I look back on and they still make me blush or laugh but as far as most embarassing I am not sure. 

So from my memory I can only think of two off of the top of my head...

   When I was much younger, I wanna say like 7 or 8 I was at my aunt and uncle's house and my mom and aunt had gone shopping that day.  My cousin, who is 2 years younger than I am, and myself had spent the day at home with her dad. Our moms came back and showed us the matching clogs (slip on felt-like mtaerial shoes, that were very in style then) they had bought us.  I was so excited I threw the shoes on and ran straight into the other room where my cousin was to show her.  I made it 2 feet into the door and fell smack on my face.  Ever since that moment my aunt and uncle have called me "Gump."  You know like Forrest Gump when he fell chasing after the truck.  Yeah apparently it looked exactly like that.

   BC and I had been dating for for a few months and we had gone to his brother's house to celebrate BC's neice's birthday.  I believe it was her 1st birthday.  Seing as how I did not know his family very well yet I was glued to BC's side.  We stayed in the kitchen with the "guys" and we, I mean they, all talked about hunting and fishing and what not.  Well while we were waiting for the chilli to get done cooking they decided they were going to try this new hot sauce BC's brother had bought.  Seeing as I LOVE spicy food I was not going to let them show me up.  SO we all tried it and it turned out I liked the spiciest hot sauce more than any of the guys did, and had no problem with it. Then once the chili was done we all remained in the kitchen while we ate.  Well I believe BC's brother's friend had said something funny and it made me laugh with a mouthful of chili and spaghetti in my mouth.  So it would figure that I swallowed a noodle and it went down the wrong hole.  The first words out of my mouth were, "I AM CHOKING ON MY NOODLE!"  Needless to say whenever I run into BC's brother or his friends 9 time out of 10 this gets brought up and especially if we are eating chili....   

Monday, October 24, 2011

Day 5. Thank you letter

So my task today is to write a letter to someone who made my heart come alive.  There are many people who have touched and affected my life in good ways and bad, but no one has changed it like my husband.

Dear Cheese,

    When we met back in 2006 I was going through a rough patch in life to say the least.  The important people know what that is, you being one of them.  I am not ashamed to say I was going through therapy then, you know this, and my therapist strongly advised that I just take some time to be me, find out who I really was, and avoid any serious relationships. 

     My therapy sessions had ended and things felt like they were going straight back to normal, I had left my old school where all of my friends were, and started at a new school, which made all of my family happy, but I felt like I was drowning because I had lost contact with my old friends, and had yet to make them where I was.

     A few weeks into the quarter I had a made a few friends in my homeroom, and was beginning to see the light at the top of the lake.  Then I met you.  You were the hand that was reaching through the water to pull me out.  I immiediately felt like you were a long lost friend, like I had known you all along.  I can remember those 3-4 hour conversations where I feel like I practically spilled my heart out to you. 

   Suddenly weeks had passed by and I was happy all the time.  I no longer felt like I had 100 pounds of blah sitting on my chest.  My heart was beating out of control., I no longer felt like sitting in my PJ's all the time, and I felt the urge to be active again.  You made care about my self-appearance, and about how I treated my body.  But most importantly I felt like I could trust someone other than my family again.  It wasn't long until I had a feeling in my heart I had never felt before.

   When you love your family your heart doesn't change because they have always been there, they have loved you tremendously since before you even knew them.  However when you find your first love it gallops for a while.  Slowly but surely that gallop stops and you find yourself alone and without what you thought was your, "one and only."  I was at this part of my life prior to you.  After spending time with you, I suddenly felt like my heart was growing, like it had doubled in size and wanted to explode, because it was so filled with emotion.  I did not know it then but this is the way your heart should feel when you meet your soulmate. 

   Five years and a wedding later my heart still feels this way, because of you.  Even on the days when I may strongly dislike you, I cannot hide or lie that my heart still feels like it is going to explode.  I cannot lie that everytime you kiss me feels like our first and that everytime you hold me in your arms I feel like I am in heaven.  I have never felt more safe in this world than I have with you.  I have never felt more alive than these last five years. 

     As cliche as it sounds, the fire in my heart has grown into a raging forest fire with no hope of it ever being extinguished.  I will always be indebted to you for this.  I have told you many times, I do not know where I would be had I not met you.  I do not know that I would have been able to conquer all of the hardships I have experienced over these last 5 years had you not been there.

    So I have written this to thank you for EVERYTHING.  I have written this to tell you no matter how often we bicker or fight, or no matter how much things may change, my heart will always be alive.  I will always know what true love is because of you. 

Until death do us part,

Mushroom Swiss     

Day 4 A pic of you in your favorite outfit....

So I am a little late in getting this up but none the less here it is....

Apart from my wedding dress being my favorite outfit I had a hard time narrowing it down... I feel my best when I am in jeans and a nice fitted t-shirt or sweater.  But my other favorite thing to wear would have to be my Bengals jersey.  So below are my 3 favorite outfits, one for going out, one for causal days, and the other for Sundays!

This dress though a little hard to see is my favorite party dress.  It is silver, a taffeta fabric, and one shoulder, the belt around the mid-section was included and ties is the back.  I love the attention to detain in the dress, and how it makes my waist look 10 times smaller!  I always get a lot of compliments when I wear this dress. 

The red light on the dress was a light up pin for my bachelorette party. 

It was bought at Torrid for $65.99

The necklace I paired with it is a thicker chain necklace with dark gray and silver colored pearls. 

The necklace was also bought at Torrid for $12.99

I always pair this dress with my favorite peep toe wedges, that have a cork base and black coarse fabric covering the feet.

I love this outfit for fall and winter... This sweater is soo cozy and warm and I love how the sleeves are longer so that I can pull them over my hands. 
The jeans I have on are a staple in my wardrobe.  They are a pair of Levi's that once belonged to my mother and I believe may be nearly as old as myself, but I LOVE them!!

I bought the sweater at Meijer suprising and loved it!  I wear it so often in the fall and winter but this is my favorite picture of me in it where you can see the detailing.

And finally my favorite Sunday outfit, and yes I have worn this to church, is a Bengals jersey.  To me it does not matter how old the jersey is or if that player is no longer playing with the Bengals, as long as it is orange and black and gets the point across it what matters to me. 

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Day 3 A photo that makes you happy

Well I have searched for a long time today for this photo and I finally have gotten it narrowed down to 3....

Christmas is my favorite time of year and when our tree is up I become incredibly happy whenever I see it!

This pic also makes me happy because it reminds me how much fun I have with my family.  This is some, and I emphasize SOME, of my cousins.  We are at our annual holiday party which is typically only celebrated by the girls.....this night was incredible!  Can't wait for this year!

This picture also makes me very happy!  This was taken just moments after I saw BC for the first time on our wedding day!  This day was the happiest I can remember being at that point in my life.  I was finally marrying my best friend.  Now we have been married 6 months this month and I have never been more happy!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Day 2. What makes me uniquely me?

Well I am going to take the easy way out for today...  I am uniquely me because of the perfect circle of a birthmark I have on my right pinky finger.  I have been teased and made fun of by my family for as long as I can remember calling it a "poop stain."

My next trait would be my incredibly large nose and forehead....but many people have the same problem, as I have grown to except since my younger years. 

And I would say that my personality makes me unique, however as I have been told, and have realized myself, which is VERY scary, I am a dead ringer for my mother in that department. 

And I can't even claim my brain tumor is something that makes me uniquely me......because thousands of people have the same one.... and my IH is not my own either, but I am thankful that there are people who have this disease that I can share my experience with and consult what I am going through with. 

One thing I can claim that makes me uniquely me, is the amazing man I am married to and the lovely home we live in.   No one else can claim those things, well except his parents and our mortgage company lol.....

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Project 31 Wishing for a time when he was healthy

I copied this from one of my favorite bloggers Meghann, but seeing as how we do not have children I tweaked it to better fit us.
Day 1. What age do you miss the most?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3.
A photo that makes you happy
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Your m
ost embarrassing moment
Day 7.
Do you believe in the "cry yourself to sleep" method?
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10.
What are some of your favorite MAC products, and what foundation/powder do you wear?
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13.
A YouTube video
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15.
What do you wish for?
Day 16. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Write a letter to your future children.
Day 19. Write about your significant other
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write about your most vivid childhood memory. Post a picture of you taken over ten years ago.
Day 22.
What did you do today?
Day 23.
Who's your celebrity look alike?
Day 24. What is God teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Who are your favorite bloggers?
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Your day, in great detail
Day 30.
What do you think is going to happen to you after you die?
Day 31. Your favorite quote
Day 1.
What age do I miss the most?  Geez, I am not sure how to answer this.  I currently am the happiest I have ever been in life.  However there are many days where I find myself thinking, I wish my Grandpa were still here.  He passed away 4 years ago this month.  So I guess maybe a good time to go back to would be when he was at his healthiest during my life. 
His health was always up and down, he was hospitalized many many times during his time here on Earth, so I guess I cannot pinpoint an age but rather a time.  I would go back to the summers we would spend together going to the park, him walking me to the bus stop in kindergarten, our vacations every October to Myrtle Beach.  I would even go back to the days and activities I never liked doing only so I could be with him again. The biggest one I can remember was rubbing his feet until he fell asleep when I had my favorite show on in the evenings.  Now looking back at this I would rub his feet for hours just to spend more time with him.  
I would go back to the summer evenings in the garage listening to the police scanner or the Reds games and the very distinct smell of wood and sawdust.  To sitting on the porch and watching birds come up to the feeders. The day we went to a coin shop in Hamilton to find some new pennies and other coins for my collection. I would go back to the day where I no longer thought coins were cool and change my mind.  
I would go back to the first time Grandpa ever met BC and stay longer, letting them get to know each other better.  I would tell BC more about the time I spent with my Grandpa and the things we did together, and the effect he has had on my life.  I know that BC knows all of these things but I would have spent more time telling him before my Grandpa passed.
I would go to the last few months my Grandpa was alive and heal my relationship with my mother, it was a rocky time for the two of us, and it kept us from putting our problems aside to spend more time with my Grandpa.  I also VERY STRONGLY believe that it hindered our grieving process and all in all sent us opposite directions for awhile.  When we needed each other most we were not truly able to lean on each other fully.  
But seeing as how it is impossible to turn back time I will make a promise to change from here on.  I promise to share stories of how incredible of a man my Grandpa was with my brother and sister who were robbed of him at such a young ago, with my cousins, some of who were far to young to remember all he did for his family, with my mother I will share my favorite memories from when we lived with my Grandparents and the wonderful things he had said about my mother, with my aunts and uncles; I will share the incredible love he had for each one of them, with my Grandma I will share, the immense and never ending love he had for her, the praises of her he made when she was not listening, and the overpowering love in his eye when he looked at her, with my husband I will share every story I can remember of my days spent with my best friend and Grandpa, I will look at you everyday with the same overpowering love, and finally for my future children:  I promise to live each day striving to love you like he loved each person that came into his life. I will sacrifice everything for you to have the best, not in material items, but in love and life. I promise to look at you with that same overpowering love in my eye.  And I also promise you that from before the time you are conceived you will have a guardian angel in heaven watching over and protecting you from the evils of this Earth. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Update on life lately

SOOO it has been awhile I know.  I don't know what my problem is, I have been slacking on videos and blogs!  Part of the reason is that we were house sitting for my parents and had no internet except on our phones.  But now we are home and I never thought I would be so happy to be home in my bed and back to my old routine. 

I think my parents air conditioner sprays out melatonin at night because it was impossible to stay awake at night, which made working at night that much harder. 

So this week has actually been pretty boring, it was a lot of hanging out at my parents house with their two dogs and sleeping.  We both worked a lot and didn't do much else other than that. 
Thursday we went to dinner and then I went to see Footloose with my cousin.  Friday I went to my old high school's homecoming game and it was a killing, I left in the 4th quarter when it was 51-13 and my school was winning.

Other than that life is normal.... well except for some body modifications for both of us.....

Right after BC fell

2 days later...

My 4th tattoo!  My wrist spasm'd during the tattoo, have to go back and get little bits touched up...


OMG I forgot to tell you!!! Our nephew will be born today!!!

Monday, October 10, 2011


On Saturday night we went to a really good friends house for a bonfire. It was SOO much fun! I was the DD for BC and myself so it was his night to have fun.

Well BC has never been much of a drinker but Saturday let's just say he was having a blast. I had bought a smaller bottle of his favorite vodka. Well when I took the bottle away for the last time it was over 3/4 way gone.

That was the most I had ever seen him drink. The car ride home for him was not the best......

When we got home he wanted to take a shower, well it can get very slippery especially when you don't have complete control of your body.

I went into the bedroom to grab my pajamas and then heard a loud boom and BC yell. (Now one of my biggest fears is falling in the shower and getting seriously injured.) I ran back into the bathroom and saw he was ok. Then I was able to bust out laughing.

The shower has a track where the doors used to go, needless to say that is what he fell on. He hit so hard he bent the door track.

The bruise in his leg just keeps getting darker and darker but I will put an original pic of it below.

As it gets darker and causes him more pain I feel bad for him but it was his own fault.

Well talk to you soon!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Fingers and Car Doors Don't Mix!

So I have been extremely absent from these blogs recently.  I worked soooo much last week and this past weekend that I have basically been coming home and going to bed.  So here is how it went:

Monday I worked 7 pm to 7 am and it was a ROUGH night! 

Tuesday night should have been my off day but work was down a nurse so I agreed to work 7 pm to 7 am and I was on a wing that I have not worked since my orientation so it was a very busy night, but a good busy, and a welcomed break. 

Wednesday night I worked 7 pm to 7 am on my usual wing.  It was a good night.

Then Thursday I picked up for another nurse and worked 7 pm to 11 pm.  After work BC and I went to see the movie Courageous at midnight.  It was an incredible movie! I recommend it to everyone.

Friday I was off and spent pretty much the whole day working on bills and cleaning.  Then that afternoon I picked my sister up from school, we went to eat for my breakfast, then did some shopping, visiting my mother at work, and finally to pick my brother up from his practice.  We went to my parents house and got ready for the football game.

Friday nights game was a rough one and there were a few game changing bad calls.  Let me put it this way, the refs were TERRIBLE!  Our team wound up losing and the other should be proud of their practically one player who made ALL of their plays.  If that kid does not get a full ride scholarship for college or straight to the NFL I will be suprised.

Then because I had worked so much during the week I got one of PRN nurses to work my shift, money is tight at work and they were not happy that I was going to have 12 hours of overtime.  i love you bubbles. Yes I have left this screen for so long BC decided to add something in there. 
Ummmm Saturday was my aunt and uncle's 30th wedding anniversary and they were having a big party to celebrate that and a few of the birthdays for this month.  There were about 80 people at the party and  a lot of alcohol.  Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I am not a big drinker.  Well I don't know what got into me but Saturday night I was.  I know I finished 6 beers, 2 Jaegerbombs, a shot of schnaaps, and a few wine coolers, but I am told I drank more than that. 

A.) I never drink beer, and B.) I have not done shots in years!!! Let's just say I felt like crap once we got home, passed out on the bed and did not move until 430am when I relocated to the bathroom because I felt sick.  I sat there until 530 dry heaving and getting waves of nausea until I finally got sick and then felt so much better!

Sunday night came and I went to work like usual.  There was only one spot left in the employee lot and it was a tight squeeze for even my little car.  I went to get out of the car with my workbag, lunch pale and jacket all in my hand, mind you I was working with about a foot of space between me and the car next to me. When I went to close the door my right hand got in the way.  YES! I closed my car door on the first 4 fingers of my right hand and cut the nail of my pointer finger just above the nail bed. 

It hurt like a b**** but then almost immediately went numb.  My whole hand was numb!  Try working in a field that requires a lot of writing with a numb dominant hand!! It was not easy or fun!  I got ahold of my on call doctor, they said to splint it and to come in to see them the next day.  My hand "woke up" at about 3 am all except for the pointer finger. 

Everything checked out with the doctor on Monday, it is not fractured and he told me to super glue the nail to help it stay on longer.  It is not a pretty site nor does it feel good, but I will tell you one thing, it is still numb.  The bruising just seems to get worse everyday. 

I was a ble to squeeze in with another doc on Monday for my six month check up and I got an almost clean bill of health other than my hormones.... blah! Apparently the reason why my hair has been falling out so much is my low estrogen..... So here is to more medicine! And pills that smells like feet!

Tuesday was a very lazy day around the house.  We took a walk and then we cut my grandma's grass in the morning and then I spent the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing.

Wednesday I made a nice ham roast, augratin potatoes and peas for dinner.  I was able to use some vouchers for free things at Kroger and was able to get free ice cream and some other stuff. So since I had ice cream I felt obliged to make brownies lol.  It was nice suprise for BC when he got off work.

Well g2g now.

Thanks for reading pics will be in the next post!  I have been working on this since Monday, seeing as how it is Thursday morning I just want to post it.