Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Well I know it has been quite some time since I have made a blog post but I have an excuse and a really good one at that.

I'M PREGNANT!!! I am currently 12 weeks and 4 days pregnant with a healthy and beautiful baby!

BC and I could not have been more suprised, as this definitely was not planned, but we also could not be more thrilled that the doctors were wrong about my diagnosis of infertility and that we are bringing a precious life into this world!

We have been trying to savor each moment, including the scary ones since we found out and it has taken up all of our time doing so. The road has definitely been filled with twists and turns thus far but each moment is a blessing.
We found out about our precious surprise on 11/3/11 at about 6 in the morning. I had just awoken from a very vivid dream I had delivered a 14 lb. baby.  WOW! While I was laying staring at the ceiling it suddenly hit me that my period was 4 days late.  I remember thinking, "No way!" But as I thought more and more all arrows pointed towards baby. Saturday (my period was due), I had to work that night and was having some mild cramping, but nothing like usual, and only a small amount of spotting.  That NEVER happens.  Sunday the cramping was still there,  but still no bleeding.  Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday the cramping was all mild and off an on.  So that brought us to Thursday monring and my dream.

So after thinking about it for an hour I snuck out of the house and ran to the grocery store to buy a pregnancy test.  Well I came home with a total of four tests and had to do the deed. I opened the first test stick and dipped it in the cup, not even 15 seconds later I see 2 pink lines!  WOW! OMG! I remember thinking, "This test is broken, there is no way!" So I dipped the next test,and the next test, and the next. 

They all came back with the same results, positive. Two pink lines.


How was I gonna tell BC?!

Well I guess my brain decided to let out a squeal from the bathroom would be the way to wake him up and show him the results, cause that is what happened. 

When he came into the bathroom and saw me sitting on the toilet holding the four tests in my hand his jaw hit the floor. I looked in his eyes and saw the wheels in his head began to turn as he processed what was happening.  Slowly his jaw was put back into its normal place and he got the biggest smile across his face.  The statement that followed was what let me know everything was going to be ok.  He said to me, "Wow, holy crap! We wanted this some day, I guess God has decided we are ready now." And he planted the biggest kiss on my forehead.

So sleeping that day was a joke, I was up all day looking at pregnancy app's on my iPhone, watching baby shows and being simply amazed at the miracle inside of me.

We scheduled our first OB appointment for 11/8/11.  We confirmed the pregnancy there and set up our 8 week appointment.

We told my parents over the phone, because I was way to chicken to do so in person at 5 weeks 5 days and then we told BC's parents in person at 5 weeks 6 days.  They were all very excited and nervous for us. 

We had our first scare at 6 weeks 4 days when I had some intense lower left abdominal pain.  So off to the doctor we went.  We saw a different Dr. who ordered an ultrasound to confirm that baby was in the uterus not the fallopian tube.  And this is what we saw:

A healthy baby growing inside the uterus and we were able to see and hear the heartbeat which was 118.

We were measuring right on track with our due date of 7/7/12.

It was after this appontment that we started thinking of names.  We both finally agreed on one name we liked for each and they both started with "R" hence Baby R on the picture.

I told my grandma at 6 weeks 5 days after my mother begged and begged me to.  She was beyond thrilled and happy that the doctors were wrong about my infertility.

At 7 weeks 2 days I was hit hard with the dreaded morning sickness.  I can still remember what I ate before the episode and I don't think I will ever eat it again.

Then we hit 8 weeks:

At 8 weeks and 3 days (11/29/11) we had our very first appointment, they took a lot of blood (found out that mommy is a cystic fibrosis carrier and daddy is not), performed a pelvic exam and the doctor answered a lot of our questions.  We also got another ultrasound that day!  Here is what we saw:

We now have a baby with eyes and limbs!  That beautiful heart was pounding away at 173 beats per minute.  It was an amzing sound!

Two days later I had a little bit of bleeding and we returned to the doctor to find that all was ok with baby, the bleeding was not in the uterus, and baby was healthy with a heart rate of 168.  I got a shot of RhoGAM just to be safe since I have B- blood and BC has B+ blood.  This provided for some comedic relief, when I made the statement, "I have never gotten shot in the butt before...."  The med tech and BC could barely contain themselves.  It wasn't until a few minutes later I realized the humor in that.

We went through the next few weeks without little trouble aside from morning sickness, but it was nothing the Zofran could not handle.  I have so far refilled that prescription 5 times.  It works wonders.

Then we hit 11 weeks and things got a little rocky:

At 11 weeks 2 days I had very bad morning sickness all day.  It came time to get ready for work and I took a shower.  I tried not to make it too hot as lately the hot water had been making me dizzy.

But I guess the water was still too hot.  The last thing I remember about that shower was washing my hair, and when I woke up I was laying on my back in the tub with a killer headache and the water was ice cold, it takes about a half hour for our hot water heater to completely run out, so I have not clue how long I was "down".  So I called BC and told him what happened.  He told me to call the doctor and see what they wanted me to do.  Well of course they said for me to go straight to the ER and since I was home alone they wanted me to go by lifesquad.  I declined and told them I would get a ride from family.  So I called BC back and told him I was going to have my mom take me since she was at dinner right down the road. 

I called my mom and she was here within minutes. When I got to the ER, BC was waiting for me along with his coworker and our friend to help me inside.  The doctors discovered that I was severely dehydrated and they pumped me full of IV fluids.  They were not to worried about the bump on my head since I was not having any vision changes or evidence of bleeding.  They also were not worried about the baby since I was having no bleeding in that regard either.

So they moved me to a more secluded ER room and had the IV fluids finish infusing.  Seeing as how we were at the hospital where BC works all of his coworkers came down to check on me and make sure I was ok.  And seeing as how BC works in security, I had at times 3 security officers in my room and I know, I KNOW, I had to have looked like a mental patient or a criminal to some of the people in the ER.  I also was surprised with a visit from a very close friend, whose husband works with BC.  She stayed for quite some time and helped me to feel more at ease.

So around 12 am the fluids were done and I was able to go home.  I must say, knocking on wood as I type, the morning sickness has gotten better since then.

I made an appointment with a doctor for a few days later and got a clean bill of health and he told me to take it easy for a while and return to work when I felt up to it.

We had our Ultrascreen to test for genetic disorders at 11 weeks 6 days on 12/23/11 and here is what we saw:

Baby R was healthy and happy snuggled up in mommy's uterus.  It has 2 arms and 2 legs, and a healthy heart rate of 158.  We also discovered that Baby R is quite the sleeper like it's father and very stubborn like it's mother.  We needed to get a good picture of the back of it's neck for some measurements and boy was Baby R intent on staying snuggled up.  I did everything but stand on my head to get baby to move and all Baby R did was move to the same position on the other side.  So with some help of the ultrasound tech and some very awkward positioning on my behalf we got Baby R to do a headstand and we were able to get the pictures we needed for the doctor.  I also got some bloodwork done that day, they pruck my finger and sent the reults off to be analyzed.  The doctor should be calling us with those results soon.

SO along came 12 weeks:

At our 12 week (12 weeks 3 days 12/27/11) appointment we were able to hear your heart on the doppler for the first time it was a strong 157.  And that brings us up to date. 

I plan to update this blog weekly if not more.  It will obviously become a baby blog and I can't wait to share all of the exciting times to come!


Thursday, November 3, 2011

My Wish

WOW this is another loaded question.

I wish for a lot of things, but probably none more than the health of myself and my family.  I wish to always be the best role model for my brother and sister.  I wish to make my mother smile on a daily basis. 

I wish doctors could find a cure for all ailments especially cancer.  I wish somedays I could have my grandpa back to share my life experiences with him.  I wish I had the answers to life's hardest questions.

I wish money grew on trees. 

I wish no one ever had to work a day in their life so they could actually take the time to enjoy it.  I wish everyone was able to be with their loved ones for their last breath because it truly is a humbling and spiritual experience.

I wish the best for each person I meet.

But most importantly I wish that my wish of sitting on my front porch next to BC when we are 80 years watching our grandchildren play in the yard will come true.

Outfit Pic

So the prompt for yesterday was to post a pic in my outfit....

So here it is:

I have been "experimenting" with my style lately thrying things I would not normally wear and such.  So here is what I wore yesterday to my sister's birthday dinner.

Necklace: Lia Sophia
T-shirt: Old Navy
Vest: Fashion Bug
Jeans: Lane Bryant
Bracelet: Pandora

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A YouTube Video

So for this day I am instructed to post a YouTube video.  Some of you may not know that BC and I make daily videos on YouTube.  This is one of our videos that I made the day a began my IH journey.  It is a very raw and honest video.  I encourage you all to watch it and watch our other videos as well.

Day 12 I am a worn out woman.

For day 12 I am instructed to tell you what wears me out as a woman...

Well I am going to give you my honest answer here and say bra's!! My family knows that my chest is not small, but I am thankful that it could actually be bigger.  I would have to say that out of everything I put up with daily the one thing I cannot stand the most would be my bra! 

When I get home from work it is the first thing I want to take off!  When I am at a dinner or party trying to showcase my "girls"  I cannot wait to get out of the bra! 

When the time comes each year that I have to buy new ones it is like I have to travel to hell just to find one I like that offers the support and coverage I want but also gives me the cleaveage I desire. 

So while I am on this rant I hate shopping for underwear as well.  I like to buy a variety of but I hate the looks I get at checkout when I am purchasing thongs and boy-shorts together.  It's just like come on!  Let me cover my ass and I will pray to god you keep covering yours!!

Other things that tend to wear me out are the cliche's about women belonging in the kitchen and that they should be the ones to cook and clean and yada yada.  UMM hello, if a woman can serve on the front line just like a man can you can clean the kitchen just like a woman can.

And I am going to end this here before I even get stared on my rant aboiut PMS-ing and mother nature's monthly visit!

Our new favorite recipe

So day 11's prompt is to post your favorite recipe.  BC and I recently or should I say finally made this one and we love it!!

Skyline Casserole:

Get one pack of Kahn's bun size hot dogs
One pack of soft shell tortilla's
2 cans of Skyline Chili
Mustard (optional)
One pack of shredded cheddar cheese

First preheat your oven to 350.
Now wrap one hotdog in each of the tortilla shells you can squirt mustard on them if desired.
Find a baking dish large enough to hold 10 hotdogs side by side.
Open the first can of chili and poor it on the bottom of the dish.
Then place the tortilla wrapped hotdogs on top of the chili.
Once all the hotdogs are in place pour the other can of chili over top of them.
Next cover the top of the chili with cheese. 
Cover the pan with aluminum foil and bake for 30 minutes.

When it is complete you will have a famous Cincinnati treat!

Favorite MAC product

Well I must admit that over the years I have splurged on a few MAC products and recently have been eyeing the MAC counter thinking, if only we had the money.  But if I am being honest with myself I will never wear any of it!! Except for a few occasions a year and even then I find that I like other products so much better!

My favortie MAC product in my collection right now is a lip gloss in a light pink shimmery shade.  The number sticker has peeled off but I just love it!  When I wear it I typically put on the lipgloss then cover it with a clear chapstick.  It really brightens up my eyes but I feel it makes my teeth look dingy. 

On my wedding day I wore no MAC products and it is my opinion that I looked my best ever on that day. 

So this just goes to show you, you dont have to pay top dollar to look your best.

What I value about my virtues

So I am going to get back on track with the blogs today!

In the day 9 prompt it says to state what virtues I value in myself.

I would have to say the one that stands out the most would be my compassion.  I feel as though I am very perceptive to other's feelings and I have a strong urge to make everyone feel better.  I have always thought I would be like Jasper from Twilight if I ever got "special powers."  Able to pick up on others emotions and change how they were feeling. 

As a nurse I get to exercise my compassion quite frequently.  But as a YouTuber and Blogger sharing  my story I have been able to share my feelings with others and change their days as I have been told.  The time I feel the most compassionate is when I get personal messages from viewers on YouTube telling me about their Intracranial Hyperptension battles.  I do not always respond becaause sometimes I do not know what to say.  My journey has not been as hard as theirs and for myself to share does not always seem fair.  But this makes my heart pound through my chest when they tell me I have changed their lives in the slightest. 

I have many other virtues as well that I value but I do not think any of them can compare to my compassion.  But if they could I have have to say the one I value the most would be my strength.  I do not always use this is a good way, sometimes I use it to be bull-headed and other's I use it only to get what I want.  But I am most proud of it when i use it to prove someone wrong, or to get through tough times even when someone has kicked me when I am down. 

Beauty Secret

OMG!! I cannot believe it has been a whole week since I posted.....

WOW!  Well today's prompt tells me to share with you all a beauty secret.  Well as those of you who know me really well know I do not  wear make-up very often.  I rarely do anything with my hair other than put it in a pony tail or leave it straight.

So in the way of make-up or hair I cannot offer you a secret.  What I can offer you is my secret to looking fresh and beautiful.  The first and most important part is confidence.  This is one of the things men find the most sexy about a woman.  Now it has taken me many years to find this but I can leave my house without an ounce of makeup on  and look like hell and still someone I manage to feel good about myself AND others take notice. 

The other part of my secret is to SLEEP.  Now I never get enough of this but even if you ust get enough sleep to make you able to get through the day it is enough!!

SO go out there and show the world how good you feel about yourself without your makeup on and trust me you will notice a difference!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Day 7. Crying yourself to sleep

Whether you believe in it now or not it once worked for you, or should I say your parents.  As young infants or children many parents enforce the, let them cry themselves to sleep method, and look at us we all turned out somewhat fine lol. 

As I have gotten older I have had those moments when I just feel like crying.  I have no reason why, I just do.  This still befuddles my husband, when I am in one of these moods he can just look at me wrong and I absolutely lose it. 

So to sum this up, I have found that most often I get into these moods when I am extremely tiredor PMS-ing and it does help me.  I turn on a sad song, watch a sad YouTube video, or watch a sad movie and I just let myself cry.  I cry until my tear ducts are dry and typically at that point I am so overly exhausted that I crash or pass out wherever I am, and the get the BEST sleep. 

So what do you think? Do you agree? Have you ever done this?

Day 6. Most embarassing moment

Well.....ummmm.... I am not sure what my most embarassing moment would be.  I have a few moments that I look back on and they still make me blush or laugh but as far as most embarassing I am not sure. 

So from my memory I can only think of two off of the top of my head...

   When I was much younger, I wanna say like 7 or 8 I was at my aunt and uncle's house and my mom and aunt had gone shopping that day.  My cousin, who is 2 years younger than I am, and myself had spent the day at home with her dad. Our moms came back and showed us the matching clogs (slip on felt-like mtaerial shoes, that were very in style then) they had bought us.  I was so excited I threw the shoes on and ran straight into the other room where my cousin was to show her.  I made it 2 feet into the door and fell smack on my face.  Ever since that moment my aunt and uncle have called me "Gump."  You know like Forrest Gump when he fell chasing after the truck.  Yeah apparently it looked exactly like that.

   BC and I had been dating for for a few months and we had gone to his brother's house to celebrate BC's neice's birthday.  I believe it was her 1st birthday.  Seing as how I did not know his family very well yet I was glued to BC's side.  We stayed in the kitchen with the "guys" and we, I mean they, all talked about hunting and fishing and what not.  Well while we were waiting for the chilli to get done cooking they decided they were going to try this new hot sauce BC's brother had bought.  Seeing as I LOVE spicy food I was not going to let them show me up.  SO we all tried it and it turned out I liked the spiciest hot sauce more than any of the guys did, and had no problem with it. Then once the chili was done we all remained in the kitchen while we ate.  Well I believe BC's brother's friend had said something funny and it made me laugh with a mouthful of chili and spaghetti in my mouth.  So it would figure that I swallowed a noodle and it went down the wrong hole.  The first words out of my mouth were, "I AM CHOKING ON MY NOODLE!"  Needless to say whenever I run into BC's brother or his friends 9 time out of 10 this gets brought up and especially if we are eating chili....   

Monday, October 24, 2011

Day 5. Thank you letter

So my task today is to write a letter to someone who made my heart come alive.  There are many people who have touched and affected my life in good ways and bad, but no one has changed it like my husband.

Dear Cheese,

    When we met back in 2006 I was going through a rough patch in life to say the least.  The important people know what that is, you being one of them.  I am not ashamed to say I was going through therapy then, you know this, and my therapist strongly advised that I just take some time to be me, find out who I really was, and avoid any serious relationships. 

     My therapy sessions had ended and things felt like they were going straight back to normal, I had left my old school where all of my friends were, and started at a new school, which made all of my family happy, but I felt like I was drowning because I had lost contact with my old friends, and had yet to make them where I was.

     A few weeks into the quarter I had a made a few friends in my homeroom, and was beginning to see the light at the top of the lake.  Then I met you.  You were the hand that was reaching through the water to pull me out.  I immiediately felt like you were a long lost friend, like I had known you all along.  I can remember those 3-4 hour conversations where I feel like I practically spilled my heart out to you. 

   Suddenly weeks had passed by and I was happy all the time.  I no longer felt like I had 100 pounds of blah sitting on my chest.  My heart was beating out of control., I no longer felt like sitting in my PJ's all the time, and I felt the urge to be active again.  You made care about my self-appearance, and about how I treated my body.  But most importantly I felt like I could trust someone other than my family again.  It wasn't long until I had a feeling in my heart I had never felt before.

   When you love your family your heart doesn't change because they have always been there, they have loved you tremendously since before you even knew them.  However when you find your first love it gallops for a while.  Slowly but surely that gallop stops and you find yourself alone and without what you thought was your, "one and only."  I was at this part of my life prior to you.  After spending time with you, I suddenly felt like my heart was growing, like it had doubled in size and wanted to explode, because it was so filled with emotion.  I did not know it then but this is the way your heart should feel when you meet your soulmate. 

   Five years and a wedding later my heart still feels this way, because of you.  Even on the days when I may strongly dislike you, I cannot hide or lie that my heart still feels like it is going to explode.  I cannot lie that everytime you kiss me feels like our first and that everytime you hold me in your arms I feel like I am in heaven.  I have never felt more safe in this world than I have with you.  I have never felt more alive than these last five years. 

     As cliche as it sounds, the fire in my heart has grown into a raging forest fire with no hope of it ever being extinguished.  I will always be indebted to you for this.  I have told you many times, I do not know where I would be had I not met you.  I do not know that I would have been able to conquer all of the hardships I have experienced over these last 5 years had you not been there.

    So I have written this to thank you for EVERYTHING.  I have written this to tell you no matter how often we bicker or fight, or no matter how much things may change, my heart will always be alive.  I will always know what true love is because of you. 

Until death do us part,

Mushroom Swiss     

Day 4 A pic of you in your favorite outfit....

So I am a little late in getting this up but none the less here it is....

Apart from my wedding dress being my favorite outfit I had a hard time narrowing it down... I feel my best when I am in jeans and a nice fitted t-shirt or sweater.  But my other favorite thing to wear would have to be my Bengals jersey.  So below are my 3 favorite outfits, one for going out, one for causal days, and the other for Sundays!

This dress though a little hard to see is my favorite party dress.  It is silver, a taffeta fabric, and one shoulder, the belt around the mid-section was included and ties is the back.  I love the attention to detain in the dress, and how it makes my waist look 10 times smaller!  I always get a lot of compliments when I wear this dress. 

The red light on the dress was a light up pin for my bachelorette party. 

It was bought at Torrid for $65.99

The necklace I paired with it is a thicker chain necklace with dark gray and silver colored pearls. 

The necklace was also bought at Torrid for $12.99

I always pair this dress with my favorite peep toe wedges, that have a cork base and black coarse fabric covering the feet.

I love this outfit for fall and winter... This sweater is soo cozy and warm and I love how the sleeves are longer so that I can pull them over my hands. 
The jeans I have on are a staple in my wardrobe.  They are a pair of Levi's that once belonged to my mother and I believe may be nearly as old as myself, but I LOVE them!!

I bought the sweater at Meijer suprising and loved it!  I wear it so often in the fall and winter but this is my favorite picture of me in it where you can see the detailing.

And finally my favorite Sunday outfit, and yes I have worn this to church, is a Bengals jersey.  To me it does not matter how old the jersey is or if that player is no longer playing with the Bengals, as long as it is orange and black and gets the point across it what matters to me. 

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Day 3 A photo that makes you happy

Well I have searched for a long time today for this photo and I finally have gotten it narrowed down to 3....

Christmas is my favorite time of year and when our tree is up I become incredibly happy whenever I see it!

This pic also makes me happy because it reminds me how much fun I have with my family.  This is some, and I emphasize SOME, of my cousins.  We are at our annual holiday party which is typically only celebrated by the girls.....this night was incredible!  Can't wait for this year!

This picture also makes me very happy!  This was taken just moments after I saw BC for the first time on our wedding day!  This day was the happiest I can remember being at that point in my life.  I was finally marrying my best friend.  Now we have been married 6 months this month and I have never been more happy!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Day 2. What makes me uniquely me?

Well I am going to take the easy way out for today...  I am uniquely me because of the perfect circle of a birthmark I have on my right pinky finger.  I have been teased and made fun of by my family for as long as I can remember calling it a "poop stain."

My next trait would be my incredibly large nose and forehead....but many people have the same problem, as I have grown to except since my younger years. 

And I would say that my personality makes me unique, however as I have been told, and have realized myself, which is VERY scary, I am a dead ringer for my mother in that department. 

And I can't even claim my brain tumor is something that makes me uniquely me......because thousands of people have the same one.... and my IH is not my own either, but I am thankful that there are people who have this disease that I can share my experience with and consult what I am going through with. 

One thing I can claim that makes me uniquely me, is the amazing man I am married to and the lovely home we live in.   No one else can claim those things, well except his parents and our mortgage company lol.....

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Project 31 Wishing for a time when he was healthy

I copied this from one of my favorite bloggers Meghann, but seeing as how we do not have children I tweaked it to better fit us.
Day 1. What age do you miss the most?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3.
A photo that makes you happy
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Your m
ost embarrassing moment
Day 7.
Do you believe in the "cry yourself to sleep" method?
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10.
What are some of your favorite MAC products, and what foundation/powder do you wear?
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13.
A YouTube video
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15.
What do you wish for?
Day 16. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Write a letter to your future children.
Day 19. Write about your significant other
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write about your most vivid childhood memory. Post a picture of you taken over ten years ago.
Day 22.
What did you do today?
Day 23.
Who's your celebrity look alike?
Day 24. What is God teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Who are your favorite bloggers?
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Your day, in great detail
Day 30.
What do you think is going to happen to you after you die?
Day 31. Your favorite quote
Day 1.
What age do I miss the most?  Geez, I am not sure how to answer this.  I currently am the happiest I have ever been in life.  However there are many days where I find myself thinking, I wish my Grandpa were still here.  He passed away 4 years ago this month.  So I guess maybe a good time to go back to would be when he was at his healthiest during my life. 
His health was always up and down, he was hospitalized many many times during his time here on Earth, so I guess I cannot pinpoint an age but rather a time.  I would go back to the summers we would spend together going to the park, him walking me to the bus stop in kindergarten, our vacations every October to Myrtle Beach.  I would even go back to the days and activities I never liked doing only so I could be with him again. The biggest one I can remember was rubbing his feet until he fell asleep when I had my favorite show on in the evenings.  Now looking back at this I would rub his feet for hours just to spend more time with him.  
I would go back to the summer evenings in the garage listening to the police scanner or the Reds games and the very distinct smell of wood and sawdust.  To sitting on the porch and watching birds come up to the feeders. The day we went to a coin shop in Hamilton to find some new pennies and other coins for my collection. I would go back to the day where I no longer thought coins were cool and change my mind.  
I would go back to the first time Grandpa ever met BC and stay longer, letting them get to know each other better.  I would tell BC more about the time I spent with my Grandpa and the things we did together, and the effect he has had on my life.  I know that BC knows all of these things but I would have spent more time telling him before my Grandpa passed.
I would go to the last few months my Grandpa was alive and heal my relationship with my mother, it was a rocky time for the two of us, and it kept us from putting our problems aside to spend more time with my Grandpa.  I also VERY STRONGLY believe that it hindered our grieving process and all in all sent us opposite directions for awhile.  When we needed each other most we were not truly able to lean on each other fully.  
But seeing as how it is impossible to turn back time I will make a promise to change from here on.  I promise to share stories of how incredible of a man my Grandpa was with my brother and sister who were robbed of him at such a young ago, with my cousins, some of who were far to young to remember all he did for his family, with my mother I will share my favorite memories from when we lived with my Grandparents and the wonderful things he had said about my mother, with my aunts and uncles; I will share the incredible love he had for each one of them, with my Grandma I will share, the immense and never ending love he had for her, the praises of her he made when she was not listening, and the overpowering love in his eye when he looked at her, with my husband I will share every story I can remember of my days spent with my best friend and Grandpa, I will look at you everyday with the same overpowering love, and finally for my future children:  I promise to live each day striving to love you like he loved each person that came into his life. I will sacrifice everything for you to have the best, not in material items, but in love and life. I promise to look at you with that same overpowering love in my eye.  And I also promise you that from before the time you are conceived you will have a guardian angel in heaven watching over and protecting you from the evils of this Earth. 

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Update on life lately

SOOO it has been awhile I know.  I don't know what my problem is, I have been slacking on videos and blogs!  Part of the reason is that we were house sitting for my parents and had no internet except on our phones.  But now we are home and I never thought I would be so happy to be home in my bed and back to my old routine. 

I think my parents air conditioner sprays out melatonin at night because it was impossible to stay awake at night, which made working at night that much harder. 

So this week has actually been pretty boring, it was a lot of hanging out at my parents house with their two dogs and sleeping.  We both worked a lot and didn't do much else other than that. 
Thursday we went to dinner and then I went to see Footloose with my cousin.  Friday I went to my old high school's homecoming game and it was a killing, I left in the 4th quarter when it was 51-13 and my school was winning.

Other than that life is normal.... well except for some body modifications for both of us.....

Right after BC fell

2 days later...

My 4th tattoo!  My wrist spasm'd during the tattoo, have to go back and get little bits touched up...


OMG I forgot to tell you!!! Our nephew will be born today!!!

Monday, October 10, 2011


On Saturday night we went to a really good friends house for a bonfire. It was SOO much fun! I was the DD for BC and myself so it was his night to have fun.

Well BC has never been much of a drinker but Saturday let's just say he was having a blast. I had bought a smaller bottle of his favorite vodka. Well when I took the bottle away for the last time it was over 3/4 way gone.

That was the most I had ever seen him drink. The car ride home for him was not the best......

When we got home he wanted to take a shower, well it can get very slippery especially when you don't have complete control of your body.

I went into the bedroom to grab my pajamas and then heard a loud boom and BC yell. (Now one of my biggest fears is falling in the shower and getting seriously injured.) I ran back into the bathroom and saw he was ok. Then I was able to bust out laughing.

The shower has a track where the doors used to go, needless to say that is what he fell on. He hit so hard he bent the door track.

The bruise in his leg just keeps getting darker and darker but I will put an original pic of it below.

As it gets darker and causes him more pain I feel bad for him but it was his own fault.

Well talk to you soon!

Friday, October 7, 2011

Fingers and Car Doors Don't Mix!

So I have been extremely absent from these blogs recently.  I worked soooo much last week and this past weekend that I have basically been coming home and going to bed.  So here is how it went:

Monday I worked 7 pm to 7 am and it was a ROUGH night! 

Tuesday night should have been my off day but work was down a nurse so I agreed to work 7 pm to 7 am and I was on a wing that I have not worked since my orientation so it was a very busy night, but a good busy, and a welcomed break. 

Wednesday night I worked 7 pm to 7 am on my usual wing.  It was a good night.

Then Thursday I picked up for another nurse and worked 7 pm to 11 pm.  After work BC and I went to see the movie Courageous at midnight.  It was an incredible movie! I recommend it to everyone.

Friday I was off and spent pretty much the whole day working on bills and cleaning.  Then that afternoon I picked my sister up from school, we went to eat for my breakfast, then did some shopping, visiting my mother at work, and finally to pick my brother up from his practice.  We went to my parents house and got ready for the football game.

Friday nights game was a rough one and there were a few game changing bad calls.  Let me put it this way, the refs were TERRIBLE!  Our team wound up losing and the other should be proud of their practically one player who made ALL of their plays.  If that kid does not get a full ride scholarship for college or straight to the NFL I will be suprised.

Then because I had worked so much during the week I got one of PRN nurses to work my shift, money is tight at work and they were not happy that I was going to have 12 hours of overtime.  i love you bubbles. Yes I have left this screen for so long BC decided to add something in there. 
Ummmm Saturday was my aunt and uncle's 30th wedding anniversary and they were having a big party to celebrate that and a few of the birthdays for this month.  There were about 80 people at the party and  a lot of alcohol.  Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I am not a big drinker.  Well I don't know what got into me but Saturday night I was.  I know I finished 6 beers, 2 Jaegerbombs, a shot of schnaaps, and a few wine coolers, but I am told I drank more than that. 

A.) I never drink beer, and B.) I have not done shots in years!!! Let's just say I felt like crap once we got home, passed out on the bed and did not move until 430am when I relocated to the bathroom because I felt sick.  I sat there until 530 dry heaving and getting waves of nausea until I finally got sick and then felt so much better!

Sunday night came and I went to work like usual.  There was only one spot left in the employee lot and it was a tight squeeze for even my little car.  I went to get out of the car with my workbag, lunch pale and jacket all in my hand, mind you I was working with about a foot of space between me and the car next to me. When I went to close the door my right hand got in the way.  YES! I closed my car door on the first 4 fingers of my right hand and cut the nail of my pointer finger just above the nail bed. 

It hurt like a b**** but then almost immediately went numb.  My whole hand was numb!  Try working in a field that requires a lot of writing with a numb dominant hand!! It was not easy or fun!  I got ahold of my on call doctor, they said to splint it and to come in to see them the next day.  My hand "woke up" at about 3 am all except for the pointer finger. 

Everything checked out with the doctor on Monday, it is not fractured and he told me to super glue the nail to help it stay on longer.  It is not a pretty site nor does it feel good, but I will tell you one thing, it is still numb.  The bruising just seems to get worse everyday. 

I was a ble to squeeze in with another doc on Monday for my six month check up and I got an almost clean bill of health other than my hormones.... blah! Apparently the reason why my hair has been falling out so much is my low estrogen..... So here is to more medicine! And pills that smells like feet!

Tuesday was a very lazy day around the house.  We took a walk and then we cut my grandma's grass in the morning and then I spent the rest of the day doing absolutely nothing.

Wednesday I made a nice ham roast, augratin potatoes and peas for dinner.  I was able to use some vouchers for free things at Kroger and was able to get free ice cream and some other stuff. So since I had ice cream I felt obliged to make brownies lol.  It was nice suprise for BC when he got off work.

Well g2g now.

Thanks for reading pics will be in the next post!  I have been working on this since Monday, seeing as how it is Thursday morning I just want to post it.

Monday, September 26, 2011



Falling for you...

You know that Marshmallow Fireside candle I got the other day...well it is half way gone!

As some of you may know I sell for the company Thirty-One and I am currently a Senior Consultant.  I am looking to grow my business and in doing so I am expanding my merchandise.  Here are a few things I ordered and came in the mail this week:

The top is a hanging wall organizer and the bottom is a lunch tote.

Today was the first day where I really felt like it was fall.  BC on the other hand probably thought it was spring with the amount of cleaning and organizing that I was doing.  Poor guy, lol.  I have recently been on a cleaning spree.  Not to where I have to do it everyday and my house does not have to be spotless but it would just be nice to be able to see our master bedroom floor more often.  Today I embarked on the mission to get it truly clean.  I dusted every piece of furniture, put everything away in the right spot and vacuumed twice.  I cannot tell you the last time that floor was so clean, oh yes I can… the day we moved in! 
At first BC and I were very on top of keeping our house clean, I think it finally hit us that we owned this and we needed to keep it nice.  Well that did not last very long.  I liek to blame it on when BC went through the academy and working full time and I was going to school full time and working part time.  We just never had enough time to really clean.  Or when we did we would much rather have spent the time together.
Today due to my lovely PMS we got a lot of cleaning done after not "playing nice" with eachother.  I know I said some things that could have been said much nicer, but there is nothing that infuriates me more than me working my tail off and seeing others just sit and listen to the Bengals on the radio and watch another game on the TV.  
I am one happy person though because up until our dryer broke our living room, office, and master bedroom were clean. :)  We have out a lot of money into our dryer since we moved in and today it finally kicked the bucket, the screws rusted off fell onto the heating coil and it broke again.  Fortunately on of BC's friends had a dryer they were no longer using and he gave it to us for free! 
YAY for not having to go to the laundromat!
Our deal that BC and I have worked out is that I will do the dishes and he will do the laundry, neither person is required to help the other.  BC recently realized he got the raw end of the deal and I have kind of made out like a bandit, but I hate doing laundry and he hates doing dishes so in our own little way it is fair. 
So seeing as now I finally adjusted to my night shift schedule and I simply do not care if I wake my neighbors up cleaning, however I will not vacuum at night, I am becoming more of a housewife. I find that I do not clean everyday, and most days I let a lot of things slide but when I clean I really clean and I notice how much better I feel about my little house.
So I have made a goal to make our bed everyday.  I will start there.  I read today that if a bed is made the room is less likely to get messy.  SO I will keep my fingers crossed, but I will not get my hopes up. 

Another thing that I have done within the last week is put out my fall decorations.  I love this time of year for the colors, the weather and the time spent under the lights at a footbal game or watching one from home.  Here are some of my decorations below:

Also earlier in the week I had asked BC to stop at the store and pick up some zip ties so that we could hang up our orange (Bengals) rope lights.  The day I asked him turned out to be a really busy day at work for him and he simply forgot.  Well yesterday seeing how exaserbated from cleaning, while I took a nap he went and cut my grandma's grass and the store to pick up the zip ties.  It turns out they are actually called cable ties. 

I will put the lights up tomorrow morning so long as it is dry out.

Oh and our fishy family grew yesterday too!  We got some more Mollies and two plecostomus fish.  And the best part is we also got a mini turtle!  Since I am assuming you all have seen mollies and "sucker fish" here is our turtle: 

He needs a name! Any ideas?

Mushroom Swiss Buerger

I miss my boy

Originally posted on 9/24/11
So as I posted yesterday in the vlog it is time for change over AGAIN!  Change over in itself is not that bad, but it is much like busy work.  Basically you are making sure the records for the next month, for each patient, are accurate, so you are comparing them to the current months record, the chart and any new orders that have been written.  Fortunately it does not take too much time, however you actually have to be able to sit down to do them to get them done. 

When I worked Thursday night the change over paperwork was in, but I find it is like when I had a lot of homework from school.  I go to sit down in “my room” to do it and then I see how messy my room is and I wind up cleaning it before I start my homework.  This is how Thursday night went for me.  I basically did every other thing that needed to be done at work other than change over.  My intentions were to make a big dent in change over last night…..that did not happen.

Last night was one of the craziest nights at work that I have had a long time.  By the end of the night I felt like my brain was sitting on a platter in front of me and I could literally see the zombies eating it but I could do nothing to stop them. 

When I left work and realized how beautiful it felt outside I called my mom and told her I wanted to join her at the Spina Bifida walk she and my brother and sister were doing.  So running on no sleep since 3pm the day before, I picked up breakfast and waitied for my mom to come pick me up.  The weather was just the right temperature and the sprinkles helped to keep me cool on my power walk.  lol

When she took me home it was my intention to get a few hours of sleep then head over with BC to a party her friends have every year.  Yeah well, when BC woke me up I felt like crap, and I could barely keep my eyes open, so back to sleep I went.  Now I am sitting here wide awake, and wanting to go do something.  So it looks as though I will be making a WalMart run at roughly 3 am. 

Have you ever done this??  I find it is the absolute best time to shop.  You are alone in the store with only the workers and they are stocking shelves so they are not bothering you! 

Tonight while I was doing my daily Facebook creeping one of my friends had put a status up about taking a dog back to the pound and then the dog passes away.  It really hit me hard regarding the dog we just had to have put down Radar.  I have not mentioned him in the vlogs or blogs yet because it has been all too fresh.  One night when I was at work BC came home, took Radar outside and then when they came inside Radar began to have seizure.  BC took him to the emergency vet and he was told, you can put him on a medicine that can be very costly and he will be on it forever, or you can hope that he will not have  seizures again , but that it unlikely.  When BC asked, “Can you tell me if he is in pain?”  The vet said, “I can’t answer 100% but most likely he is.” 
My Baby Boy
BC took Radar home that night where he had 3 more seizures before I came home from work.  When BC told me what had happened I was heartbroken.  As much as sometimes Radar got under my skin he was like my first born.  We talked for a long time about what we should do and decided that neither one of us could see him in pain and that we knew he would not be the same or like taking medicine everyday.  To make our dog the happiest we knew we had to make the hardest decision ever. 

At the vet the night before BC had explored all of our options, and the price to have Radar put down through them was much to expensive.  We placed a call to our friend who worked for the SPCA where we originally got Radar one year before to see the cost there.  They were excellent in working with us and really helped us through a hard time.  When we arrived at the SPCA my emotions got the best of me and I asked BC to take Radar in while I waited in the car.  This decision I ultimately regret.  Not being able to be there for my baby boy was so hard to deal with but I am not sure I would have been able to do what was best for him had I gone inside. 

Now as I sit here reminiscing I think back to the day we got my sweet boy Radar.  My family had told me not to get a dog, they said it would too hard.  Well being the dog lovers we are we went to the SPCA not intending to buy a dog, just to look.  We walked through all of their kennels and came to the one Radar was in last.  He was in the very first stall with another very small dog.  He was the only dog who did not bark at us.  He was a beautiful dog.  I had my heart set on finding a Basset Hound.  When we read the information card about him, we saw that he name was Radar and he was part Beagle, Basset and Daschund.  BC and I looked at eachother and just knew, this was our dog!  We had intended on naming our dog something to do with the police field and there he was.  All 25 pounds of sweetness.

While we were filling out paperwork the clerk told us that he had belonged to a couple who had lost their home and had to move into an apartment that did not allow pets. 

When we left I dropped BC off at home, so he could get the house ready for Radar.  Radar and I went to Petsmart to get him some food and also some toys and bones and such.  When he finally got home I remember Radar slept for 2 full days.  And when he finally woke up he became the light of our lives, with his playful spirit and his intense ability to let you know he loved you.  He also was a smart dog, he found our treat drawer and anytime you talked sweet to him or told him “Good Boy” he would walk over to the treat drawer and just sit by it waiting for a treat. 

Well I need to go dry my tears now, I will talk to you soon!

Here are the rest of the pics that would not go up the other day:
Ikea Candles!
These candles are so strong smelling in the glasses, but I am kinf of upset that they are not as strong when they are burning.  But you can’t beat them for $1.99 and they have a 30 hour burn time each.
We finally got a wastebasket for the office!
This hold soo much!
Our new desk organizer!
This had finally allowed me to put things on the desk in an organized fashion!
Our new pen and misc crap holder.
We keep our black pens in the far left pot, our colored pens and pencils in the far right, and paper clips and thumb tacks and misc crap in the 2 middle ones.
Another pic from Homecoming 2006


Originally posted on 9/21/11
So today has been a very busy but also lazy day.  (If that makes any sense at all…) After barely sleeping last night I went to my parents house because my brother and sister had the day off of school, and we went out to lunch. After lunch we went to Bath and Body Works and I picked up some candles, because their 3 wick candles were 2 for $20, which is an incredible deal considering they are normally $19.50 each! I got 4 candles and 2 cases for the wallflowers.  The scents I got were: fireside, marshmallow fireside, leaves, and pumpkin patch.  They all smell fantastic. And for the wallflowers I got marshmallow fireside and leaves. 
I am in heaven!

We then went back to my parents house and my brother and sister did some chores.  Before too long we had to head over to take my brother to practice before his football game.  I dropped my sister off at a friend’s house, took my brother to practice and parked my car in the school lot and as I will put it, “passed the eff out!”  I was sleeping for a good hour and it was just the nap I needed. 

It was then time for the game.  I walked into the stadium, with a hoodie on, and looked to the sky and thought I should have brought my umbrella.  The game was a really close one, with no score until late in the game.  As each quarter progressed the sky got darker and darker then finally began sprinkling.  After about 5 minutes the sky had just opened up!  I can’t say that I had ever been to any sporting event in the rain except a few Red’s games and I went to a snowy Bengal’s game.  Guess that shows how proud I am of my brother.

My brother made a mistake during the game, and even though I know he maybe wrong I still do not like to see anyone yell at him! Iwanted to jump down from the bleachers and tell the coach it was enough!! My brother missed the tackle at first but turned right around and got the guy on the same play.  There was no need to yell that much!  I guess that is my big sister instinct though. 

Knowing my brother was in a bad mood my parents treated the whole family to his favorite restaurant.  It was soooo good! I was stuffed up until about 10 minutes ago, now I feel like I can breathe again.  And what’s even better is I did not eat all of my food and was able to bring some home to BC.

After dinner I ran some errands and tried to get a suprise for BC but a large corporation stands in my way!! >:( So it will just have to wait a few months, at least he is kinda patient.  After that was ruled a complete no I came home and decided I was going to clean up the office.  Which is 90% of the way done then I came across the bag from our Ikea trip a few weeks back.  I will put pics up of the things we bought and also what I hung up tonight. 

A wire picture hanger. We got this from Ikea, and one of the shreds from when it was cut has already ended up in my foot!
We bought more but the website will not let me post them… :(

Well I am about to fall asleep on the keypad, so good night you guys!

P.S. I SAW A YELLOW PRIUS TODAY!!! Do you know how rare those are?!?!?!? It is a game my family plays, everytime you see a prius you yell, “yellow one!” or whatever color it is.  It is a lot of fun and saves my arm from all of the “Punchbuggy no punchbacks!”
Mushroom Swiss Buerger
A picture from the night we got engaged. I am on the left. I miss that haircut!!Another pic from homecoming 2006
 OH!! Breaking Dawn comes our in less than 2 months!!!