Thursday, October 20, 2011

Project 31 Wishing for a time when he was healthy

I copied this from one of my favorite bloggers Meghann, but seeing as how we do not have children I tweaked it to better fit us.
Day 1. What age do you miss the most?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3.
A photo that makes you happy
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Your m
ost embarrassing moment
Day 7.
Do you believe in the "cry yourself to sleep" method?
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10.
What are some of your favorite MAC products, and what foundation/powder do you wear?
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13.
A YouTube video
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15.
What do you wish for?
Day 16. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Write a letter to your future children.
Day 19. Write about your significant other
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write about your most vivid childhood memory. Post a picture of you taken over ten years ago.
Day 22.
What did you do today?
Day 23.
Who's your celebrity look alike?
Day 24. What is God teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Who are your favorite bloggers?
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Your day, in great detail
Day 30.
What do you think is going to happen to you after you die?
Day 31. Your favorite quote
Day 1.
What age do I miss the most?  Geez, I am not sure how to answer this.  I currently am the happiest I have ever been in life.  However there are many days where I find myself thinking, I wish my Grandpa were still here.  He passed away 4 years ago this month.  So I guess maybe a good time to go back to would be when he was at his healthiest during my life. 
His health was always up and down, he was hospitalized many many times during his time here on Earth, so I guess I cannot pinpoint an age but rather a time.  I would go back to the summers we would spend together going to the park, him walking me to the bus stop in kindergarten, our vacations every October to Myrtle Beach.  I would even go back to the days and activities I never liked doing only so I could be with him again. The biggest one I can remember was rubbing his feet until he fell asleep when I had my favorite show on in the evenings.  Now looking back at this I would rub his feet for hours just to spend more time with him.  
I would go back to the summer evenings in the garage listening to the police scanner or the Reds games and the very distinct smell of wood and sawdust.  To sitting on the porch and watching birds come up to the feeders. The day we went to a coin shop in Hamilton to find some new pennies and other coins for my collection. I would go back to the day where I no longer thought coins were cool and change my mind.  
I would go back to the first time Grandpa ever met BC and stay longer, letting them get to know each other better.  I would tell BC more about the time I spent with my Grandpa and the things we did together, and the effect he has had on my life.  I know that BC knows all of these things but I would have spent more time telling him before my Grandpa passed.
I would go to the last few months my Grandpa was alive and heal my relationship with my mother, it was a rocky time for the two of us, and it kept us from putting our problems aside to spend more time with my Grandpa.  I also VERY STRONGLY believe that it hindered our grieving process and all in all sent us opposite directions for awhile.  When we needed each other most we were not truly able to lean on each other fully.  
But seeing as how it is impossible to turn back time I will make a promise to change from here on.  I promise to share stories of how incredible of a man my Grandpa was with my brother and sister who were robbed of him at such a young ago, with my cousins, some of who were far to young to remember all he did for his family, with my mother I will share my favorite memories from when we lived with my Grandparents and the wonderful things he had said about my mother, with my aunts and uncles; I will share the incredible love he had for each one of them, with my Grandma I will share, the immense and never ending love he had for her, the praises of her he made when she was not listening, and the overpowering love in his eye when he looked at her, with my husband I will share every story I can remember of my days spent with my best friend and Grandpa, I will look at you everyday with the same overpowering love, and finally for my future children:  I promise to live each day striving to love you like he loved each person that came into his life. I will sacrifice everything for you to have the best, not in material items, but in love and life. I promise to look at you with that same overpowering love in my eye.  And I also promise you that from before the time you are conceived you will have a guardian angel in heaven watching over and protecting you from the evils of this Earth. 

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